i don't need to explain which is before surgery and which is after right.
if anyone ask, just go bang the wall.
well, apparently the surgeon came in, looked at me, my xray.
then exclaimed, 'BEAUTIFUL!'
in my mind 'knn, which part u tell me which part is beautiful ccb'
yeah, mini rage moment.
scar looks SLIGHTLY better.
and everyone is telling me how i still look beautiful.
how inner beauty is still the most important.
yes i said thank you, i'm really grateful for the kind words.
but fuck that.
i did not choose to fell.
i did not choose to have an operation.
I DID NOT NEED TO HAVE THIS SCAR.
do u know, i love wearing sleeveless tops.
so i lost another thing i love AGAIN.
for something that SHOULD NOT have happened.
i'm not gonna wallow in self pity, and i am still grateful that i'm alive.
but i just wanna kaobei and whine.
that's my only channel to relieve my unhappiness.
URGH.
FUCK THESE.
ok, now i feel better.
just tad grumpy.
meh.
Sorry for the loss there. But hey I guess tank tops with jackets or blazers look pretty good too? You're so skinny you probably would need something draped over to prevent cold. Besides girls have so much apparels to choose from and you look like you won't have any trouble looking good too! Just take it as a style revamp? Sounds cool right? Scars will heal in time and you'll be back with tank tops before you know it, but its the meaning you attach to it that builds you. Its hard, but that's the only right path you have.
ReplyDeleteHope this helped :)
Hello there, thanks for your encouragement once again :)
Deletehmm, do i know you?
Not really actually. I started reading your blog just few months back. Your posts really reached me, and I thought I could share some love and encouragement as a passerby. That's what humans do to survive right? I learned that in life we must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment. Its your choice. As the saying goes, If you don’t like something change it, if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.
ReplyDeleteHi,
DeleteThank you so much for your words, I really appreciate them :)
All the best to whatever you're doing now too, I'm glad you do enjoy reading my entries :)
ReplyDeleteHaven't you heard of this method? Smile five times a day, make yourself laugh for no reason, three times a day for seven days, keep the sadness away. It might sound stupid, but what you need now is to learn to laugh if you want to make your life better. Make feeling good your expectation, you don't have to have a reason to feel good! Be well soon, cos I believe your loved ones feel what you feel too, don't give up .
really appreciate your kind words :) same goes to you too!
Delete