Just because....

Sometimes, I don't settle for just an apology.

Sometimes, I don't settle for just a 'you're still the closest i ever had'.

Sometimes, just sometimes. 

I think this is just me, and it is innate.

If someone can hear me out, I am not unforgiving, I just cannot forget.

And I wonder if these 3 words will ever suffice - Just. Cannot. Forget. 

I squirm whenever I walk past the church every Sunday.

Every time I look at myself in the mirror I gave my right shoulder the most sympathetic smile I can force out. 

I find myself overwhelmed with unexplainable discomfort and fear every time I watch shows with the tiniest bit of violence in it. 

And I can come up with a whole list of the after effects caused.

Your temporary release of uncontrollable emotions left a permanent scar on the surface, and deep in within. 

And it is really not a sorry or any nice messages of concern over the years could have help with.

Just because you are sorry.

Just because I was the closest you had.

Your just because doesn't suffice, and perhaps never will.

Because I Just, cannot, forget.